A few more CV highlights…

 

Respected Sir I am waiting for a positive response from ur side. Plz Find out the Attached CV with the Mail

Texting English makes its debut in job applications. Guess it had to happen sooner or later.

In reference to your vacancy announcement posted on the ACBAR Jobsearch website, I with indepth interest working for your ogranization in our indegenious latitude.

Sounds good, just need to find out what an indegenious latitude involves.

I have more than three years experience as an English teacher; I was an impressive and permanent teacher in oxford English language institute in Pakistan and as well as here in (Kabul) in many centers such as; international English language center, scholars English language center(where I was teachers in charger and fresh teachers trainer and as well as I was accountable for motivating the nearby centers’ teachers to participate us) and schunizia English language center(where I am an important element of inducing committee in order to lure and motivate the students to get other people impressed of our center to get admission here so that is the reason that our center is one of the best centers in its surrounding and I have translated an American short stories book which named (wind and water children) and I have also attended lots of workshops of teaching methodology, making plans and evaluation and published last year for Afghan children and I have written two hundred pages novel in English but it is not published yet and as well as I have written numberless poems in English and I am a short story writer as well ,so these things (being an English teacher, impressive element of inducing committee, teachers in charger, trainer and writer) are proofs that I can play a vital role in developing educational programs for Hagar clients and arranging and providing skills training and support in finding and maintaining employment)

That, I think, is all one sentence. Even I, a person of unusual prolixity, don’t commonly make sentences like that. But he did lure students, so have to give credit for that.

I am writhing in reference to your vacancy for the position of “Education & Employment Support Officer”

Well, I make mistakes like that in Dari all the time. And I have never had to write a job application in Dari. Can you imagine? It would be incomprehensible. Most recently I confused ‘megzera’ with ‘megreza’. So instead of replying, ‘Things are fine’, in response to the question ‘how are you doing’, I replied, ‘I am fleeing’.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “A few more CV highlights…

  1. You need to do a bit of an exegetical work here. Reading these CVs is like reading the bible. You read the words, and then cross-reference, discuss, go back to the original language, meditate and pray, asking God to reveal the meaning of the words.

    indegenious is a combination of two worlds: indigenous & genius. So, the guy is a local genius in working with indigenous people on the local latitude, i.e., Afghanistan.

  2. This put a smile on my face. He sounds like a decent guy! (even though luring students sounds a bit…shady.)

    And texting English is a problem in English-speaking places too.

    In a few years, we’ll all be writing “plz” instead of please. I recently learned that this phenomenon is called the LOLcatification of English.

    No, I didn’t make that up.

  3. I like the comments Guennadi and Transitionland make on the language: you can’t say this guy suffers from inferiority complex, especially since he sees himself as an “important and impressive element on the inducing committee” ~ get him to apply for one of the Australian political parties. These sound like qualities that would place him high on the ballot paper.

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