We are recruiting about 9 new positions for Hagar. I made up a list of the jobs, brief descriptions and listed the requirements. I asked applicants to state how they met the requirements, and then posted the advertisements on a few websites here in Kabul.
Within minutes, I started receiving applications. 90% of these applicants have simply fired back a CV, shooting straight from the hip. None of them – repeat – none of them have addressed the requirements. Their cover letters are all addressed to ‘Dear Sir/ Madam’, despite the advertisement requesting that applications be addressed to ‘Phil Sparrow’. Some applicants haven’t even bothered to change the details of their documents from the last job they applied for – so I have applications for positions with WFP, the Afghan Human Rights Commission and so on. Many applicants claim to speak excellent English, but their letters are full of the most basic typos. People have had ‘Gander Training’, have studied ‘Enlish’, they describe themselves as speaking ‘perfection English’. Many begin like this:
“To Whom It May Concern
I have recently found out through your job vacancy that your prestigious office is to recruiting new employee for the above mentioned post of so, being equipped and having the qualification needed for the post I apply and have the confidence that I will be able to contribute positively toward the achievement of your organization goal and objectives.”
I think that sentence is from a Jane Austen novel. Or they have lines in them like this:
“I have full command on the relevant subjects. As far as the communication skill is concerned, I can register, interpret and convey my verbal and nonverbal stimulus and response and lead programs well up to the standards and policy of Hagar Afghanistan.”
Eh? Here’s a selection of the best/ worst bits:
Languages: Read Write Speaking Understand
English flounce Flounce Flounce V. Good
Dari Excellent Excellent Excellent Excellent
Pashto Excellent Excellent Excellennt Excellent
Urdu Excellent Excellent V. Good V. Good
Dear Mr.Phil Sparow
I have an aim to join your organization and try my best to benefit your organization form
The most useful and high standard skill that I have developed during three non-stop simultaneous years…
I hope I will get the chance start with your organization and build up a new empire composed of experience and dedication.
To Whom It May Concern:
I would likes to apply for the above Position. I can feel myself a component candidate for the above position.
Human rights and gender and word.
Human rights in Afghanistan.
Loses Rudeness abut woman’s.
Loses the currency without cultures abut the woman.
Participate of the woman’s in the community.
Participate of the woman’s in dally live.
Lose contrariety with woman.
Dues defective effect.
What is ‘Dues defective effect’? Is it a skill I need in an employee, that they lose rudeness about woman’s? Do I want an empire builder? Flounce English? (Sounds dangerous). And what is a ‘component candidate’? Do I need to know that that candidate feels himself?
“I am seeking a professionally rewarded and challenging position in a company that is aggressively expanding in Afghanistan market.”
I think the Taliban is aggressively expanding in Afghanistan. Perhaps he should apply there.
Honestly, it was a depressing afternoon’s reading. Such desperation, such hope, such dreams of a better future were hidden in these applications. I have put all the worst and unusable applications aside, and when I get a moment, I will write back, asking them to spell check (really, it is not so hard these days with Office software), asking them to address letters to the listed person, asking them to address the criteria.
It reminds me of when we were recruiting for a finance manager back in 2000, and got a string of people who claimed they were all trained accountants. I tell no lie, not one of them got all the answers right on a very basic maths test. Not one could balance a ledger. Well, to be fair that was in Taliban times, when all the skilled people were fleeing here as fast as they could push a wheelbarrow full of their bits of things.
The sad thing is that most of these people are probably competent enough. If they were less frenzied in their applications, and took say, 1 hour, to look at the description, address the letter to me, get the name of our organisation right, check out the website, and give me two or three lines on how they meet the requirements, they’d get an interview. What’s with the rush? It is not as though the first application in my inbox gets the job.
I’ll let Mr JT have the last word here:
please find attached, That I am Candida in below positon so I sent my resume for your consideration and I am looking Forward to having an opportunity how I can Contribute with your team.
I dont think we want anyone who has Candida in below position.